Kinda dumb, but still funny

You pick the appropriate one and create the sentence.

Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a gangster
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm cool like that.
Black-----------because that's how I roll. Pink------------because I'm NOT a homosexual.
Red------------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green---------because I hate myself.
Purple---------because I'm cool.
Gray----------because I was drunk.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange-------because I hate my family.
Brown--------because I was high.
Other-------because I'm a ninja.
None------ --because I cant control myself

My sentence is: I murdered a football player because I was drunk. Lol.